The Naughty Nineties (Mainstream sport) by Martin King & Martin Knight

Author:Martin King & Martin Knight [King, Martin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House UK
Published: 2011-11-17T23:00:00+00:00

SEVEN

Stand Up If You Hate Man U

‘The fundamental picture reveals that supporters like many of the changes of the past few years. We should take pride in what has been achieved, particularly in the creation of safer and more comfortable grounds and in the ability of English football to attract top-class international footballers. These findings bode well for the future.’

Rick Parry, Chief Executive of the Premier League,

Daily Mail, 12 April 1995

Mandy’s doing a quick head count. ‘That’s it, I think. Two kids, three dogs and two suitcases, three bikes and the pram strapped on to the roof rack.’

Good! At last we can set off on our holiday to Sussex. Not far, but far enough.

Before I can put the motor into gear, there is a tapping on my window. It’s my neighbour.

‘Off on holiday are you?’ I bet he’s good at Cluedo. ‘Off to Sussex, I hear.’ So he knew, so why ask?

‘You don’t miss a fucking thing,’ I reply as Mandy cringes. ‘For your information, and that of the rest of the nosey neighbours, we’re off to Pagham to stay at a friend’s caravan. But I expect you knew that.’

Not put out by my aggressive rudeness, he takes the wind out of my sails by saying that there is a chance he can get tickets for the match next week and am I interested. Am I interested? Is the Pope a Catholic? The match he’s talking about is the FA Cup final between Chelsea and Manchester United at Wembley.

‘That’ll be good.’ I smile weakly as he peers over my shoulder and has a good look inside to see what we’ve packed.

‘Good. I’ll keep my ear to the ground. I’ll let you go then.’ He bangs twice on the roof to indicate he is indeed letting us go. Inspection complete. All present and correct.

‘Nosey bastard. How’s a dope like that going to get tickets?’ I say to Mandy as we speed down the road.

‘He’s only trying to be helpful.’

‘He’s a typical Man United fan. Probably never been to Old Trafford or even seen United play in the flesh. Watched the European Cup final in 1968 on TV and that was it. Prat. Lives in Surrey and supports Man United. Keep his ear to the ground indeed. I’ll fucking skewer his ear to the ground. I bet he’s never had a row in his life.’

I glance sideways and see Mandy is rolling her eyes and looking heavenward. ‘Trouble with you, Mand, is you never see bad in people.’

‘Trouble with you, Mart, is you never see good.’

We’d agreed that we would not mention football or Chelsea on the holiday but, as Mandy pointed out, we’d not reached the end of the road and I was working myself into a frenzy about the final. Two reasons. Firstly, this was the first taste of glory we Chelsea fans had got near for almost thirty years, and secondly, I had not got a ticket. I had missed the legendary FA Cup and European Cup-Winners’ Cup finals of the early ’70s on account of being too young and not having the financial resources to compete.

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